What do you do the night before your daughter’s birthday when she is no longer here to celebrate?
You cry…
You set your alarm for 3:30 am so that you are awake at the exact time she was born…
You take a Xanax AND a sleeping pill so that hopefully, you sleep some…
You cry…
You look at pictures, until you can’t look at pictures…
You wish you could watch a video, but, even after 7 1/2 years, it’s not possible…
You cry again, this time, with snot and sobs thrown in…
You light a candle…
You move her urn to your bedroom so she is closer to you…
And, then you lay in bed and write her a letter…
You cry some more…
And, then you listen to the ticking of the clock, in disbelief that your daughter isn’t here to celebrate her own birthday…